We live in an era of uncertainty. And I hate not knowing the future.
I’m someone who loves to make plans, schedule, research, and know everything about anything. I’ll constantly become bogged down in my writing because of my incessant need to research.
For instance, yesterday I wrote how a character visits another character on W44th Street in Manhattan. What did I do? Well, I had to search Bing maps for an aerial view. Then a street view. I explored all over 44th street, and went down 9th Ave (virtually). Spotted a few restaurants and bars to reference. Did a search for apartment buildings. Found a condo for sale on the exact corner I needed. Got the specs from listing pictures, details on layout, and the location of doors, etc. etc. Needless to say, I did about 30 – 45 minutes of research for one single paragraph.
But, I NEEDED to know! I needed to know the layout so I could continue my story without any surprises.
Guess what happened on the next page though? Yup, another plot twist I needed to research.
That’s just in fiction. In the real world it takes me weeks to plan the perfect vacation, party, or event. I say I love surprises, but in reality I’m too much of a control freak to enjoy a surprise properly.
So, this not knowing the future is driving me crazy!! When will everything reopen? Will we be able to have a family reunion this year? Will we even get to the beach? Will Riker have school next year? Is this all a ploy by the government? Will we lose all of our rights? Is everything fake? Or is everything more real than they’re saying on the news? Are we living in the end times? Will every restaurant close down before I can try a true southern meal?!
I don’t know.
But God knows.
I’m sitting in my sun room with the screen doors open. My cats are restless. The wind has been wild all day, and the clouds are rolling in. The air tastes thick with humidity. It doesn’t take a weather reporter to tell me there’s a storm coming. It’ll be here in a couple of hours. By the time you read this, I might be in the midst of it. It could be bad, or it might only bring rain. We’ve had some tornadoes in the area twice in the last few weeks, and there’s a possibility of more again tonight. But no one knows for sure. All we can do is wait it out and prepare. I cleaned our garage today so we can put our vehicles inside, and we have an amazing neighbor who has offered her basement to us if things get bad. But there’s not much more I can do to physically prepare.
Mentally though, I can choose to not let fear consume me. Riker senses when I’m upset; he’s sensitive that way. I made the mistake last week to get a little frantic in my last-minute tornado prep because we got a phone alert only 5 minutes before the wind picked up (we’d known the weather reports, but denied that we had anything to worry about). He was terrified; feeding and magnifying on my own fear. I’m not making that mistake again. This time, I’m prepared.
We might not know the future, but we don’t have to be surprised by it. We can see the signs coming, prepare, and rest in the knowledge that God has us in the palm of His hands. That doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. That means:
“Because you are God’s child, you can be confident that he will give you wisdom. And because he will give you wisdom, you can be sure that you will have a future and a hope. When you have the wisdom of God, you don’t need to fear the future.” Proverbs 24:13-14.
There’s one verse in particular that came to my attention this weekend. Our pastor loves to read from The Passion translation of the Bible, and I find it brings new understanding to verses I’ve heard all my life in the same formal translations.
“For now we see but a faint reflection of riddles and mysteries as though reflected in a mirror, but one day we will see face-to-face. My understanding is incomplete now, but one day I will understand everything, just as everything about me has been fully understood.” 1 Corinthians 13:12
As a mystery writer, this wording brings an instant picture to my mind. In mysteries there are clues and references for the end to come. A truly keen reader can follow the right clues and guess the ending that the author has planned. There’s clues and answers speckled all around us: in our relationships, our minds, even on the news, and especially in the Bible. God wrote MORE THAN 400 references to Jesus in the old testament. That’s a heck of a lot of clues. Yet, the majority of the Jewish people were surprised by his coming. Why? They didn’t need to be. And neither do we need to be surprised by our country’s future. By our own individual futures.
Am I surprised that I’m a wife, mother, writer, artist, living in South Carolina? Not really, because God put every last one of those desires in my heart years ago.
Will I be surprised if we’re hit by a tornado tonight? Not really, because I’m watching the winds bringing in the dark clouds. But that doesn’t mean I’m living in fear.
Am I surprised by this pandemic, how fast everything shut down, and how divided our world is becoming? Not really, because I’ve read the book of Revelation. I’ve read Matthew 24: “Nations will go to war against each other and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be terrible earthquakes—seismic events of epic proportion, horrible epidemics and famines in place after place. This is how the first contractions and birth pains of the new age will begin! …. But keep your hope to the end and you will experience life and deliverance. Yet through it all, this joyful assurance of the realm of heaven’s kingdom will be proclaimed all over the world, providing every nation with a demonstration of the reality of God. And after this the end of this age will arrive.”
But don’t worry: we all know how this story ends. If we trust the author.
Is it a coincidence that I’m currently writing a book all about possible futures? Not really.
Let me leave you with my latest video I created with a fitting bit of poetry. Be blessed and encouraged no matter what our futures bring!!
Laura Gibson Kudey 